Who is watching these movies?

Variety Online last week featured a headline “’2012’ destroys worldwide box office”. According to the article the “disaster pic brings in total of $225 million”. It grossed $225 million dollars in its opening weekend! Obviously I have not yet seen this film; however from the floods of “wtf’s” (wtf = what the fuck) I have seen this week in response to the movie on Facebook from friends and acquaintances, it has let me confirm my predictions (not a Mayan reference) that 2012 is a crap movie. Really though, who would have thought? There is a scene in the trailer where John Cusack drives a car out of a cargo plane, he drops 100 feet and lands in the snow. Not only does there appear to be any damage (hard to tell because it was so CGI’ed) but he is able to drive away, in the snow, unharmed. This trailer seems so realistic and exciting; it’s no wonder people flocked to the theatre. I feel as if I may be the only person who actually saw that junk trailer because how could someone actually watch a preview like that and then spend $11.00 (plus popcorn and a diet coke with two straws) on such a horrible looking movie? I hate to think society has such poor taste or that they are as stupid as these statistics make them look. It did gross $225 million dollars in the opening weekend though. Okay, maybe society is that stupid.

I think David Fincher may feel the same way that I do. This week when the movie Fight Club was released onto blueray, Fincher (the movie’s director) included a prank, one that I believe has an argument behind it. Those who have purchased the blueray disc are (hopefully) angered when the main menu loads. Fincher has used the start menu of the movie “Never Been Kissed” starring Hollywood bicycle Drew Barrymore to (hopefully) scare his viewers. After a few seconds, the screen changes to the proper “Fight Club” start-up but the initial shock of thinking you purchased “Never Been Kissed” must be devastating (hopefully). Besides being a pretty humorous joke, David Fincher, in my opinion, is making a statement. The film “Never Been Kissed” was released at the same time as “Fight Club” and embarrassingly enough the film crushed “Fight Club” at the box office. Embarrassing and disgraceful considering that a large group of critics (including myself) regard “Fight Club” as one of the better movies of this millennium.

Just look at the box office results every week and you will see some Kate Hudson and Matt McConaughey movie dominating the box office. Future classics, future Oscar winners, and extremely intelligent works of art take the backseat to a bunch recycled jokes and a ridiculous plot about two idiots falling in love. These romantic comedies seem to me as though they are the result of someone opening a script on their computer, changing the setting and character names, and then clicking the ‘replace all’ icon (it’s easier to do than it looks). These movies are the adult version of the Teletubies (ie: the repetition of the same annoying shit over-and-over). The difference is that toddlers aren’t filling the theatres every week to watch a shirt less McConaughey, or a could-they-not-get-a-better-looking-lead Barrymore in some ridiculous role.

In the movie “Fight Club” Brad Pitt’s character says, “Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep.” When asking the question, “who is watching these movies?” I feel like the Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt’s character) quote may be fitting. The box office records confirm that these fools are everywhere; they are lurking behind every corner, stalking, and waiting to throw money in the face of some undeserving and over-rated actor.

In conclusion I am basically just saying a few things. By supporting movies such as these, you are ruining the film industry; think of this when you decide to go throw away money on a garbage movie. Watch the trailers and read the reviews before going to see a movie. If the trailer looks familiar, it is probably a very similar movie to the last romantic comedy you saw. All this talk about bad blockbusters makes me sick in anticipation for Christopher Nolan’s next Batman, a blockbuster movie with substance. Remember, there is nothing romantic or comedic about another Matthew McConaughey movie. Matt, put on a shirt and do a movie worth watching. You are going to wake up one morning 70-years-old, alone, and with skin cancer. At this point your legacy won’t even fill up a 30 minute television documentary. Finally, although violence is rarely the answer, if you ever see John Cusack would you please slap him across the face for me?



Aaron Bawn