http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-cIjPOJdFM
The threat of a bad zombie causes me more stress than the thought of a real zombie onslaught. I can't help but feel a slight amount of rage at the idea that a genre of movies as kick-ass as the zombie variety is becoming a fad. The idea that someone is creating zombie movies capable of causing Duane Jones to roll over in his grave (if it hasn't yet been abandoned by his undead corpse) makes me uneasy. Or maybe I'm just being a paranoid movie snob.
There is something about a film which portrays the downfall of the (living) human race in such a violent fashion, with constant metaphors of refusing to live a life of the nine to five grind, which makes the two hours devoted to sitting in front of a television, or movie screen, more worthwhile. Not only can a zombie movie scare the shit out of you, see 28 Days Later, or make you laugh, Shaun of the Dead, they can even tackle social issues like the casting of the first African-American lead in the great Night of the Living Dead. All of these issues might help illustrate my fear of having such a great genre of film raped by Hollywood.
This unnecessary sense of paranoia has recently been spawned by the latest zombie film starring everyone's favorite New England bar tender, Woody Harrelson. While the premise of the movie is quite cookie-cutter zombie film, with America being ravaged by a "zombie plague" and a select few survivors being left to their own devices, there are a few things I have seen in the previews that raise an eye-brow or two. My one greatest concern is what appears to be a scene which takes place in ... an amusement park? The thought of Woody Harrelson shooting up an amusement park in an attempt to become "zombie killer of the week" is a little disconcerting.
Despite these concerns, I am trying my best to keep an open mind, for there are some positives. First off, a movie that has the ability to feature flesh hungry zombies while keeping the crowd laughing is an amazing combination. Another, rather important positive, is the casting of one of the few positives of the ever popular Superbad, Emma Stone. Not saying that an attractive female role adds repute to a zombie film, but it definitely doesn't do it any harm.
To cut to the chase, I am looking forward to seeing any new zombie movie, or old for that matter. I only hope that it as good as I hope and that I will end up eating my words about good ol' Woody.
Declan
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Now Playing: Chad Ochocinco in Death of a Salesman
Last year’s Superbowl between the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers had one of the best endings of all-time. I don't know if I will ever forget Santonio Holmes beautiful toe drag catch in the final minutes to bring the Steelers a head. Directly after the touchdown, in the spirit of showmanship and with the pride of his accomplishment, Holmes had an awesome and unforgettable celebration. Holmes 'borrowed' Lebron James favourite pre-game ritual of tossing powder into the air; however in this case the powder was imaginary and the ball was used to represent the container holding the powder. I was cheering for the Cardinals in that game but I loved seeing the celebration. Shortly after the game Santonio Holmes was not so happy. The celebration caused him to be fined $10,000 (the amount I receive in OSAP to last me the whole year). $10,000 for celebrating!
At the beginning of the 2006 season the National Football League (NFL) amended their guidelines. After this change, touchdown celebrations were highly restricted creating a league where generic attributes of players, similar to that of an "Aryan race", were mandatory. The league was developed into one where creative thinking was replaced with a standardized way of handing a football to an official. The only words that come to mind when I think of this standardization are ‘shit’ and ‘bull’, put them in any order you like.
Some girls (maybe even some uptight dudes) might say that celebrating is too arrogant; however, I disagree. The so called arrogance on a larger scale has been present throughout history’s wealthiest and most powerful civilizations. Look at the Seven Wonders of the World!
Celebrating is far from a recent phenomenon. When a Greek military over two thousand years ago won a battle or founded a city they built large statues and temples to celebrate their success. This ideology did not vanish even after thousands of years. In today’s ancient Greece, the United States of America, there are many monuments that celebrate the nation’s success. The excessive creations on Mount Rushmore and the statue on Liberty Island both share many qualities with the football player who pretends to slam-dunk the football through the uprights. As the Statue of Liberty represents liberation from oppression, a football celebration represents the years of training and experience needed to get to that spot in the endzone. Until the majority of western society decides that excess, whether it is in music videos, popular media or even the government, is evil, please let it exist in my favourite sport.
Getting past a defense and putting up six points then celebrating in the method of one's choice is, in a way, the same as starting a business, becoming successful and then buying a very big house. This idea of celebrating a success is the main premise behind the expression “The American Dream.” The term refers to a life that every American wants. A life filled with success where material possessions and financial security and/or fame are present. This drive for material possessions and the parade of success is what football players are subconsciously promoting when they celebrate after a good play. The continuation of these guidelines may call for Arthur Miller's famous novel, Death of a Salesman, to be rewritten with Willy Loman (the main character) being replaced with Chad Ochocinco.
Regardless of what the famous fat documenter Michael Moore may think about it, our society is based on an economic ideology called capitalism. Adam Smith, the father of capitalism, believed that capitalism was based on competition. In a capitalist society competition is essential because it persuades companies to create products and/or services of high quality in order to make profit. It is this competition that we see every day in each organization’s marketing and advertising. Advertising is the celebration of a company’s product; it in many ways puts down another company. Representatives of the National Football League, who are opposed to touchdown celebrations, claim that the behavior is disrespectful towards the opposing team. This is the same group that says NFL players can only wear a certain brand of shoe because the National Football League gets paid for that shoes advertising. This means that these representatives are outlawing the very thing they are guilty of. By advertising one type of shoe, they are in many ways saying that it is better than other products. In professional sports such as the NFL, players are their own advertising. Kanye West once said that he is so arrogant because he is selling a brand, that brand is Kanye West. This is the same for most athletes. The better an athlete plays, the more money he or in some rare cases (exclusion of the William sisters) makes. After making a brilliant play, athletes should be able to advertise themselves. This is no different than Reebok being able to buy out the rights to players’ shoes because they are a wealthy company.
The NFL is a league that mirrors many of the values and characteristics of a wealthy and powerful society. It is a league where touchdown celebrations reflect many dimensions of success seen throughout history. Both the “American Dream” and such rituals attempt to flaunt personal success. Finally, the most important aspects of capitalism are expressed during a football celebration. This proves that such tactics in the National Football League are not immoral and excessive in other aspects of life. To some it may look like arrogance and showboating, but in all reality, it is the true essence of society.
“I showboat like I am selling a yacht.” - Drake
Written by: Aaron Bawn
“If you have hate in your heart, let it out” - Clayton Bigsby
Recently while compiling a list of what I believed to be the rankings of the best musical acts of all time, I came to the conclusion that this may in fact be an impossible task. How can one standardize and order something with so many different attributes and characteristics, something that is so very personal and unique to each and every person? It can't be done. However, in the world of sports these types of lists are more easily constructed and defended.
In anticipation of an upcoming Mayweather/Marquez boxing match (a fight Mayweather dominated) I sat down at my computer in hopes of finding reputable pound for pound best boxers of all-time list. After an effective googling I was directed towards a list compiled by the writers at ESPN.com. Their opinion of the best of all-time, according to this particular list, is the late great Sugar Ray Robinson. It is the general consensus among those who have ever watched any amount of boxing, as well as, most mammals with the capacity to communicate, that Mr. Robinson is deserving of such a title. So the list starts out pretty accurate. So now I'm asking myself, who is number two? Alright I will be honest, I'm actually asking myself where is Floyd Mayweather Jr. on the list? I won't have to look very far down right? Floyd is one of the last tested and truly undefeated fighters; he is a guy who has stopped legends in their tracks, knocked out other undefeated fighters, and set boxing pay per view records. Feats such as the ones Mayweather has accomplished must make him one of the best of all-time in any informed sports analyst’s rankings. So was Floyd number two? Close... He was ranked number 48. Yes, you are reading that right. Forty-eight. Four, eight. As in two better than fifty!
Most casual sporting fans would have an extremely difficult time naming forty-eight boxers; however, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is not only a well-known name in boxing, he is the a well-known name in general. In a sport that has been declared dead for years, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a name known by t’weens and housewives; that is saying something in itself. Alright, I'll agree, fame and skill are not always synonymous, but it's not like Floyd has become a household name for his long drives down the Los Angeles freeway in a white Bronco; the guy sets pay-per-view records. If it was not for the fact that Floyd Jr. Jr. Jr. will be born and promptly cleaned off with hundred dollar bills and then laid to rest on stacks of stacks, then I'd feel sorry to man nicknamed Money.
The pride of Grand Rapids Michigan has been getting the shaft for years. After a marvelous amateur career, Floyd followed in the footsteps of many boxing hopefuls and competed for his country in the Olympics. In the semi-finals after the dust had settled the referee raised Mayweather's hand. The problem however was that this referee had suffered from a mistake, something that I explained earlier on. Assumptions can be disappointing, and in this case even embarrassing. The poor referee, having had too closely watched the fight, he had made the mistake of assuming the better boxer and the individual who had a better fight would be judged the winner. Without listening to the decision the judges made, this referee raised Mayweather's hand when in fact he was not the victor. The United States Olympic Committee filed against the judges but without missing a beat Mayweather moved on, reasonably undiscouraged.
Mayweather turned into a professional boxer, following in the footsteps of both his father and his uncle Roger. As a pro in the super featherweight division Floyd wasted no time walking through opponents. I remember one of the first fights of Mayweather’s that I watched. It was against a white fighter who reminded me of a Little Mac opponent in Mike Tyson's Punch Out for the Nintendo Entertainment System; I think his name was Glass Joe? When the bell rang both fighters moved towards the centre of the ring. Mayweather seemed to float just millimeters (US readers please refer to inches) above the canvas while Glass Joe moved very awkwardly, almost as though he was lugging something behind him. Glass Joe hauled his heavy feet in a Keyser Söze-esque demeanor and as these two athletes approached one another, something amazing happened. From Mayweather’s body, a crisp straight jab was launched. The punch hit Glass Joe flush in the face and his head snapped straight back. The punch was perfect and the result was an animation that you would except to see from a bad actor doing a Rocky impression. The punch was absorbed by the entire face and a look of pain resonated in the white fighter’s eyes. It was beautiful! Children boxing all over the world are told the importance of the jab and how it sets up all the other punches. I think Mayweather's father and uncle made sure he knew this tidbit because in the following seconds everything came together. Soon, Glass Joe got a good look at the ceiling and Mayweather walked away with a KO added to his record. I was thoroughly impressed with the dismantling and it was the start of my Money May fandom. Many of Mayweather's fights throughout his career have ended in similar fashion; however, not all his opponents were videogame character look-a-likes.
Floyd captured the super featherweight title in little to no time, and after a couple of title defenses he began to dream big. Floyd had money on his mind so he did what any boxer needs to do to make more money; Floyd put on weight. The victories continued and Mayweather beat the best of super featherweight, lightweight and super lightweight divisions. He faced both hall-of-famers and the previously undefeated boxers and rolled through anyone who was put in front of him. To this date Mayweather has not so much even been knocked down by another boxer in the ring. Although Mayweather’s entire career has been epic, most boxing fans memory is only of a fighter’s fresh battles. Luckily Mayweather’s resume as of recent (with the exception of a brutal loss in Dancing with the Stars) is stellar. In the past few years Mayweather has beaten Arturo Gatti, Zab Judah, Carlos Baldomir, Oscar De La Hoya, Ricky Hatton and most recently Manuel Juan Marquez. These are all boxers with extensive fan bases, boxers who have had their share of glory, and boxers who can attest to Mayweather’s boxing superiority.
To better understand my anger towards those employed by the Entertainment Sports Programming Network I will help dissect the list for you. I have already passionately defended Ray Robinson at number one. Second on the list is Muhammad Ali, followed by Henry Armstrong, Joe Louis, Willie Pep and Roberto Duran. I am going to try my hardest to stay away from biting into the overrated Muhammad Ali, but I will point out his five losses. Five losses are still very low but you must look at the fact that besides the destruction of Sonny Liston by a young Cassius Clay, most of Ali’s famous fights were far from easy victories. Mayweather has destroyed legends; Ali was almost murdered in the ring on a number of occasions. Henry Armstrong has been dead for 20 years and that’s with him living to be an old man. He was born before World War I and ended his career with 21 defeats. Not to put down old-time boxing, because I do believe Jack Johnson was one of the best of all-time, but come on! None of this guy’s fans are even still alive. I am sure he was good back in the 1930’s but boxing has changed. Henry Armstrong is on the list because someone at ESPN had a grandfather who used to talk about boxing with them when they were a child. “I remember when boxing was good. Homicide Hank fought 17 times in 1944! These fighters today only have two or three big fights a year. His fights were always on the radio and it was so exciting to listen to. Those were the days.” Sorry grandpy. I don’t buy it. I think these are the days and I think Mayweather would hurt Homicide Hank in ways he had never before seen regardless if they were wearing Everlast gloves or mittens made of leather.
In case you are not yet convinced I am going to take a look further down the list to help prove my point. Further down the list, but still a head of Floyd are the following boxers (Note: I will not mention the large amount of individuals who are not even household names in their own homes). Roy Jones Jr.: At 36 years old Roy Jones Jr. was knocked out in the second round of a fight by Antonio Tarver. Jones to this date has 5 losses. Evander Holyfield: He has 10 losses in 54 fights, has been accused of using steroids, and has lost most big fights he has been in. Pernell Whitaker: He ended his career with 40 victories (the amount Mayweather has right now). Did I mention he also lost 4 times? Jake LaMotta: He was the story behind a great movie (Raging Bull) but the guy admitted to throwing fights for the mob, 19 defeats. Oscar De La Hoya: Floyd beat him. How does this make any sense? Marco Antonio Barrera: Juan Manuel Marquez beat Barrera and Floyd destroyed Marquez, 7 losses and growing.
There are so many other names on that list to ridicule and arguments to make. I feel like I could write 2000 words on every boxer above Floyd on the list; the only hard part would be getting someone to read these words. The whole point of these arguments was not to bash other great athletes, but more to point out how spectacular Floyd is. I feel blessed to live in the era of Floyd Mayweather. He is a Michael Jordan, a Wayne Gretzky, a Tiger Woods, a Pele, a true great. Unfortunately I have missed Joe Lewis’ reign, I have missed the Rumble in the Jungle, and I have missed a young man named Michael Tyson win the heavyweight championship of world. However, I am not depressed. I get to watch Floyd Mayweather fight in his prime. I will be able to tell my grandkids about Old Pretty Boy Floyd Money Mayweather and how boxing isn’t like it used to be.
In anticipation of an upcoming Mayweather/Marquez boxing match (a fight Mayweather dominated) I sat down at my computer in hopes of finding reputable pound for pound best boxers of all-time list. After an effective googling I was directed towards a list compiled by the writers at ESPN.com. Their opinion of the best of all-time, according to this particular list, is the late great Sugar Ray Robinson. It is the general consensus among those who have ever watched any amount of boxing, as well as, most mammals with the capacity to communicate, that Mr. Robinson is deserving of such a title. So the list starts out pretty accurate. So now I'm asking myself, who is number two? Alright I will be honest, I'm actually asking myself where is Floyd Mayweather Jr. on the list? I won't have to look very far down right? Floyd is one of the last tested and truly undefeated fighters; he is a guy who has stopped legends in their tracks, knocked out other undefeated fighters, and set boxing pay per view records. Feats such as the ones Mayweather has accomplished must make him one of the best of all-time in any informed sports analyst’s rankings. So was Floyd number two? Close... He was ranked number 48. Yes, you are reading that right. Forty-eight. Four, eight. As in two better than fifty!
Most casual sporting fans would have an extremely difficult time naming forty-eight boxers; however, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is not only a well-known name in boxing, he is the a well-known name in general. In a sport that has been declared dead for years, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a name known by t’weens and housewives; that is saying something in itself. Alright, I'll agree, fame and skill are not always synonymous, but it's not like Floyd has become a household name for his long drives down the Los Angeles freeway in a white Bronco; the guy sets pay-per-view records. If it was not for the fact that Floyd Jr. Jr. Jr. will be born and promptly cleaned off with hundred dollar bills and then laid to rest on stacks of stacks, then I'd feel sorry to man nicknamed Money.
The pride of Grand Rapids Michigan has been getting the shaft for years. After a marvelous amateur career, Floyd followed in the footsteps of many boxing hopefuls and competed for his country in the Olympics. In the semi-finals after the dust had settled the referee raised Mayweather's hand. The problem however was that this referee had suffered from a mistake, something that I explained earlier on. Assumptions can be disappointing, and in this case even embarrassing. The poor referee, having had too closely watched the fight, he had made the mistake of assuming the better boxer and the individual who had a better fight would be judged the winner. Without listening to the decision the judges made, this referee raised Mayweather's hand when in fact he was not the victor. The United States Olympic Committee filed against the judges but without missing a beat Mayweather moved on, reasonably undiscouraged.
Mayweather turned into a professional boxer, following in the footsteps of both his father and his uncle Roger. As a pro in the super featherweight division Floyd wasted no time walking through opponents. I remember one of the first fights of Mayweather’s that I watched. It was against a white fighter who reminded me of a Little Mac opponent in Mike Tyson's Punch Out for the Nintendo Entertainment System; I think his name was Glass Joe? When the bell rang both fighters moved towards the centre of the ring. Mayweather seemed to float just millimeters (US readers please refer to inches) above the canvas while Glass Joe moved very awkwardly, almost as though he was lugging something behind him. Glass Joe hauled his heavy feet in a Keyser Söze-esque demeanor and as these two athletes approached one another, something amazing happened. From Mayweather’s body, a crisp straight jab was launched. The punch hit Glass Joe flush in the face and his head snapped straight back. The punch was perfect and the result was an animation that you would except to see from a bad actor doing a Rocky impression. The punch was absorbed by the entire face and a look of pain resonated in the white fighter’s eyes. It was beautiful! Children boxing all over the world are told the importance of the jab and how it sets up all the other punches. I think Mayweather's father and uncle made sure he knew this tidbit because in the following seconds everything came together. Soon, Glass Joe got a good look at the ceiling and Mayweather walked away with a KO added to his record. I was thoroughly impressed with the dismantling and it was the start of my Money May fandom. Many of Mayweather's fights throughout his career have ended in similar fashion; however, not all his opponents were videogame character look-a-likes.
Floyd captured the super featherweight title in little to no time, and after a couple of title defenses he began to dream big. Floyd had money on his mind so he did what any boxer needs to do to make more money; Floyd put on weight. The victories continued and Mayweather beat the best of super featherweight, lightweight and super lightweight divisions. He faced both hall-of-famers and the previously undefeated boxers and rolled through anyone who was put in front of him. To this date Mayweather has not so much even been knocked down by another boxer in the ring. Although Mayweather’s entire career has been epic, most boxing fans memory is only of a fighter’s fresh battles. Luckily Mayweather’s resume as of recent (with the exception of a brutal loss in Dancing with the Stars) is stellar. In the past few years Mayweather has beaten Arturo Gatti, Zab Judah, Carlos Baldomir, Oscar De La Hoya, Ricky Hatton and most recently Manuel Juan Marquez. These are all boxers with extensive fan bases, boxers who have had their share of glory, and boxers who can attest to Mayweather’s boxing superiority.
To better understand my anger towards those employed by the Entertainment Sports Programming Network I will help dissect the list for you. I have already passionately defended Ray Robinson at number one. Second on the list is Muhammad Ali, followed by Henry Armstrong, Joe Louis, Willie Pep and Roberto Duran. I am going to try my hardest to stay away from biting into the overrated Muhammad Ali, but I will point out his five losses. Five losses are still very low but you must look at the fact that besides the destruction of Sonny Liston by a young Cassius Clay, most of Ali’s famous fights were far from easy victories. Mayweather has destroyed legends; Ali was almost murdered in the ring on a number of occasions. Henry Armstrong has been dead for 20 years and that’s with him living to be an old man. He was born before World War I and ended his career with 21 defeats. Not to put down old-time boxing, because I do believe Jack Johnson was one of the best of all-time, but come on! None of this guy’s fans are even still alive. I am sure he was good back in the 1930’s but boxing has changed. Henry Armstrong is on the list because someone at ESPN had a grandfather who used to talk about boxing with them when they were a child. “I remember when boxing was good. Homicide Hank fought 17 times in 1944! These fighters today only have two or three big fights a year. His fights were always on the radio and it was so exciting to listen to. Those were the days.” Sorry grandpy. I don’t buy it. I think these are the days and I think Mayweather would hurt Homicide Hank in ways he had never before seen regardless if they were wearing Everlast gloves or mittens made of leather.
In case you are not yet convinced I am going to take a look further down the list to help prove my point. Further down the list, but still a head of Floyd are the following boxers (Note: I will not mention the large amount of individuals who are not even household names in their own homes). Roy Jones Jr.: At 36 years old Roy Jones Jr. was knocked out in the second round of a fight by Antonio Tarver. Jones to this date has 5 losses. Evander Holyfield: He has 10 losses in 54 fights, has been accused of using steroids, and has lost most big fights he has been in. Pernell Whitaker: He ended his career with 40 victories (the amount Mayweather has right now). Did I mention he also lost 4 times? Jake LaMotta: He was the story behind a great movie (Raging Bull) but the guy admitted to throwing fights for the mob, 19 defeats. Oscar De La Hoya: Floyd beat him. How does this make any sense? Marco Antonio Barrera: Juan Manuel Marquez beat Barrera and Floyd destroyed Marquez, 7 losses and growing.
There are so many other names on that list to ridicule and arguments to make. I feel like I could write 2000 words on every boxer above Floyd on the list; the only hard part would be getting someone to read these words. The whole point of these arguments was not to bash other great athletes, but more to point out how spectacular Floyd is. I feel blessed to live in the era of Floyd Mayweather. He is a Michael Jordan, a Wayne Gretzky, a Tiger Woods, a Pele, a true great. Unfortunately I have missed Joe Lewis’ reign, I have missed the Rumble in the Jungle, and I have missed a young man named Michael Tyson win the heavyweight championship of world. However, I am not depressed. I get to watch Floyd Mayweather fight in his prime. I will be able to tell my grandkids about Old Pretty Boy Floyd Money Mayweather and how boxing isn’t like it used to be.
Written by Aaron Bawn
I am Absurd.
I have to start this blog (I use that term lightly) by saying a little bit about Absurd & Unheard. It is a blog comprised of a few close friends who felt like throwing their thoughts into the endless void that is and has been our home for years; the Internet. For years, I have sat by politely like a stereotypical Canadian chap. But after years of bearing witness, I feel my time has come to get my thoughts out of my crowded notebooks, and my claustrophobic mind.
What you can expect from this blog is as follows:
We, the contributors, all offer extremely varied opinions, beliefs, and tastes. Whether it be music, movies, books, or general annoyances. rest assured that what I post will be entirely different than the other writings on this blog. So check in often, for chances are, if you hate this blog, you will love the next.
"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." I am using this quote as a sort of disclaimer. This blog, for me, is not an attempt to impress the tens of people who may stumble across it. It is a medium to help get my thoughts out of my head and into a world that exists on screens around the world. If you like what I have to say, that is amazing. If you don't, thats good too. Just don't send any hate my way, it would be a waste of time.
Declan
What you can expect from this blog is as follows:
We, the contributors, all offer extremely varied opinions, beliefs, and tastes. Whether it be music, movies, books, or general annoyances. rest assured that what I post will be entirely different than the other writings on this blog. So check in often, for chances are, if you hate this blog, you will love the next.
"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." I am using this quote as a sort of disclaimer. This blog, for me, is not an attempt to impress the tens of people who may stumble across it. It is a medium to help get my thoughts out of my head and into a world that exists on screens around the world. If you like what I have to say, that is amazing. If you don't, thats good too. Just don't send any hate my way, it would be a waste of time.
Declan
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